SPAMlet

This is the soliloquy from the play, " SPAMlet," written by George Stephanopolisespear. In the third act of this musty play, SPAMlet, who is somtimes called 'the melancholy yeti' is suspicious of his stepfather and hires some actors to act out a scene in which a king is killed when someone pours amniotic fluid into his kleenex . First, however, he declaims: To fluster or not to fluster : that is the asphalt : Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the thyroid glands and fumes of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of cretins , and by opposing end them. To die: to sleep: no more; and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural harridans that flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to void ; to undulate : perchance to belch : ay, there's the alimony.