Thank you, Jeremy Heideman!
Mad Horoscope
Those born under the planetary sign of the vagrant
possess paranoid-schizophrenic personalities and are forever searching for
new spoons to conquer. This is a more or less
vituperative month for you because the planet glubflanderboink
is directly over your box and Mercury is influencing
your quanta . This means you should avoid eating
harpies and stay away from anybody with
hallucinogenic flagella .
During the coming year you will find conditions getting musky
due to your crass outlook on life and your
tame attitude towards spears .
You are best suited to a abnormal mate with
eldritch nuclei and a
plaid complexion, which means, of course, that you can
look forward to a really dark life.
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